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Today's jokes [4.17.10]

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Dear Abby:

My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated 
our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and 
supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue. 
He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him.  Every 
time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was wrong 
and begs me to forgive him.
This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat.
I don't know what to do.



Dear Frustrated:                                            

You should dump him.  Now that you are finally a New York Senator, you 
don't need him anymore.


Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went to the toilet?
A: He wiped the chain and pulled himself.


Why doesn't Hillary wear short dress?

Her balls would show.


What is the proper weight for an attorney?

About 3 pounds, .......not counting the urn!


A photographer from a well known national magazine was assigned to
cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park.
When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so
thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him
to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to
rent a plane and take photos from the air.
He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate.
He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!'' The pilot swung
the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the
The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low
passes so I can take some pictures."
"Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I am a photographer," he responded,
"and photographers take photographs."
The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "You mean
you're not the flight instructor?"


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