Today's jokes [4.14.10]
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(Q) Why don't blondes use vibrators?
(A) Because they are scared they might chip thier teeth!!!
Sent by T.L.Glenn
A gent spots a nice looking gal in a bar goes up
and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't back
off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied.
"That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,
"Who named you,your mother?"
"No, I named myself, she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting, why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men,"
she said looking directly into his eyes.
"What's your name?"
Sent by Ron
Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic?
A: Snap-on tools!
A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower.
It's at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says.....
"Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?"
The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back
at the little girl and winks....
"When your mommy goes to the mall!"
The following statements were found on patient's charts
during a recent review of medical records. These statements were
written by various health care professionals including (we're afraid)
a doctor or two at several major hospitals:
"The lab test indicated abnormal lover function."
"Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized."
"The skin was moist and dry."
"The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."
"She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until
1989 when she got a divorce."
"The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane
ran out of gas and crashed."
"I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
"The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle,
who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week." "Bleeding
started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles."
"Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation."
"She is numb from her toes down."
"Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot."
"While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as
"When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."
"Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his
family in no distress."
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