Today's jokes [4.13.10]
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Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex
life. One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half
way thru a fence, with its butt facing the tavern. One drunk says he sure
wishes that sheep were Marilyn Monroe. The other says, "I just wish it
Whats the difference between a bunch of lawyers in a porche
and a porcupine?
- A porcupine has pricks on the outside!
Q: Why is a violist like a terrorist?
A: They both fuck up bowings.
Pilot to tower . . . pilot to tower . . . I am 300 miles from land . . .
600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel . . .
please instruct! Tower to pilot . . . tower to pilot . . .
repeat after me: "Our Father, which art in heaven . . ."
Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the
inspection. The first one
says:"I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand." St. Peter
says:"You see the bowl
of holy water, wash your hand and go in." The second says:"I have to
confess, I held
mans penis in both hands." St. Peter:"Wash both your hands and go in.
other two start fighting, something terrible. St.Peter goes there,
pulls them apart, asks
*What's going on? One of them shouts I want to gargle, before she
washes her ass in
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