Today's poems [3.28.10]
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There was a young girl of Darjeeling
Who could dance with such exquisite feeling
There was never a sound
For miles around
Save of fly-buttons hitting the ceiling.
I sat next to the Duchess at tea.
It was just as I feared it would be:
Her rumblings abdominal
Were simply phenomenal,
And everyone thought it was me.
Comming home at a quarter of three
I caught my wife cheating on me
I raged, "Who's this fink?"
She cried with a wink
"I don't know, It's a new one on me."
The sexual life of the camel
Is weirder than anyone thinks.
One night in an orgy of passion
It tried to bugger the sphinx.
But the sphinx's posterior passage
Was blocked by the sands of the Nile
Which accounts for the hump on the camel
And the sphinx's inscrutable smile.
Have you heard of young Franchot Tone
Who felt of his own peculiar bone?
It was long and quite narrow
And filled full of marrow,
And less edible than stale corn pone.
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