Today's jokes [3.3.10]

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A young boy came home from school and told his mother, "I had a big fight
with Sidney.  He called me a sissy."
"What did you do?" the mother asked.
"I hit him with my purse!"

Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually 
tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth.  
As the couple take in the latest episode of their favorite program, 
the man loses concentration for a split second, and a peanut 
goes into his ear. He tries to get it out, but succeeds only in 
forcing the thing in awfully deep.

After a few hours of fruitless rooting the couple decide to go to the
hospital, but on their way out of the front door they meet their 
daughter coming in with her boyfriend.

The boyfriend takes control of the situation; he tells them he's 
studying medicine and that they're not to worry about a thing.  He
then sticks two fingers up the man's nose and asks him to blow, and
low and behold, the nut shoots from the ear and out across the room.
As the daughter and her boyfriend go through to the kitchen to 
get drinks, the man and his wife sit down to discuss their luck.

"So" the wife says, "what do you think he'll become after he finishes
school? A GP or a surgeon?"

                                                   "Well," says the man, rubbing his nose, "by the smell of his fingers,
                                                   I think he's likely to be our son-in-law."

Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror when she noticed a few
   gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her privates... "I know
   you haven't been getting much lately...but I didn't know you were so
   worried about it!"

Three old ladies are walking down the street. They are hard of hearing.

One: Whew, it's windy today!
Two: No. Today's Thursday!
Three: So am I! Let's go to a bar!

How do a jewish couple have oral sex?

... "SET AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BED AND YELL SCREW YOU TO 
ONE AND OTHER"

Sent by Ivan

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