Today's jokes [3.21.10]

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A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a 
large knob of salami.
"Would you like it sliced, sir?" the shopkeeper asked politely.
"What do you think I am?" replied the fag, "...a money box!"

What sits at the bottom of the bed and constantly takes the piss???

A kidney dialysis machine!

There was a young Scotsman called Andy,
Who knocked over his bottle of Shandy.
He lifted his kilt,
To wipe up what he spilt,
And the barmaid said, "Blimey! That's handy!" 

A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to 
call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before 
the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, "I know this must be a 
very hard blow, Mrs. Vernon. But we must remember that what we see here is 
the husk only, the shell...the nut has gone to heaven."

There are three truths in life:

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah....

2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the
   leader of the Christian faith.....

3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.

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