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Today's jokes [3.19.10]

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After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed
that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What
do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it to
his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled
"The meaning of dreams" 

1. 




Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by
the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"

"My father said it'd be a good idea, sir."

"Oh?  And what does your father do?"

"He's in the Army, sir."




2. 




What's the difference between mayonaise and sperm?
Mayonaise doesn't hit the back of a girls throat at 40 mph.

3. 




This is so cool.
Read this sentence:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count ALOUD the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE: do not go 
back and count them again. See below...

ANSWER:

There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three 
of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got five, you 
can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six, you are a genius.  
There is no catch.  Many people forget the "OF"'s.  The human brain tends 
to see them as V's and not F's. Pretty weird, huh?  It fools almost 
everybody.

Robert

4. 




How does every ethnic joke start?

By looking over your shoulder.

5. 



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