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Today's jokes [3.12.10]

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What's the difference between a bull and a cow?

A bull smiles when you milk it.


The little boy comes home from school and asks mom, "Where do babies come 
from?" Not wanting to get into the discussion of sex at such an early time 
she replies, "From the stork of course!" The little guy thinks for a few
seconds and then asks, "But mom, who fucks the stork?" 


Sidney has a problem with premature ejaculation, so he pays a visit to a 
sex shop for a remedy. The clerk hands him a little purple can and 
says, "This is Stay-Hard spray... put on a little and you can go all 
Excited, Sidney takes it home, stashes it in the cellar on a shelf, and 
waits eagerly for bedtime. Later that night, he sprays some on his member 
and then goes upstairs to his wife. To his utter disappointment, however, 
the remedy seems to make him orgasm quicker than ever.
The next day, Sidney returns to the sex shop, angrily slammed the can down 
on the counter, and snaps, "This stuff makes me worse than before!"
Upon reading the label, the clerk asks, "I don't suppose your hid this 
stuff on your basement shelf, did you?"
"Yeah, so?"
"You must have grabbed the wrong can, sir... this is Easy-Off."


"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of
your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I 
wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.


A middle-aged guy and his date are making out hot and heavy in the movies 
when his toupee slides off. As he's groping around for it, his hand goes 
between her legs, up under her skirt, and lands on her twat.
She says, "That's it! That's it!"
He says, "It can't be. I part mine on the side." 


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