Today's stories [2.8.10]

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At one job I had, the boss man got the idea that the IT
department should be living up to the slogan, "Giving every
user what they need."

I politely requested, "How do we get them to turn around so
we can kick them in the ass?" It went over quite well, the room
fell out laughing. I don't work there any more.

I was playing in a night club, and getting few requests and small tips. 
Towards the end of the night, a man walked up with a wad of bills in his 
hand and asked me to play a jazz chord. I played an Amaj7. 

He said, "No, no. A jazz chord." 

I did a little improvisational thing, but he didn't like that either. 

"No, no, no! A jazz chord. You know, 'A jazz chord, to say, ah love you.'" 

When asked by the Pope (I forget which one) what the Catholic Church
could do for music, Igor Stravinsky is reputed to have answered without
hesitation: "Give us back castrati!" 

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