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Today's stories [2.16.10]

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 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered 
with golden fried onion rings.


Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis 
Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and 

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in 
the lovely pool while you drink it all in.


The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable
beds, and other athletic facilities.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.
Automatically burns toast.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable
that lots of women wear nothing else.


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