Today's jokes [2.8.10]

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A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees 
a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.  He says, 
"What the hell is that all about?"

The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop and all 
his feathers got  singed off, so the wife made him some 
clothes to keep him warm. There ain't nothing funnier than 
watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his 
pants down with the other."

Q. What do you call a Marine with an IQ of 160?

A. Platoon

   I read last week how there are more than one million battered women in
   the United States
   each year. All these years I've been eating them raw.
   

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed
the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and
get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if
everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one
lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."

Whats black and white and red all over?

A nun in a car accident.

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