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Today's jokes [2.5.10]

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for you girls...

Why is 88 better than 69?

You get 8 twice.


A Frenchman was arrested and charged with having sex with a dead woman. 
"How do you plead?" asked the judge.
"Guilty or not guilty."
"Not guilty," replied the man.
"On what grounds?" queried the judge.
"I didn't think she was dead....I thought she was an American."


   After insulting the female genie from the magic bottle, Carlos makes
   his wish:
   "To wake up with 3 women in my bed."
   She says, "So be it!" and disappears back into the bottle.
   The next morning, Carlos wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding
   and Hillary Clinton. His penis is gone, his leg is broken and he has
   no health insurance.


A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road.
A woman was driving down the same road. 
As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the
window and yelled, "Pig!" 
The man immediately leaned out his window and replied,
They continue on their way and as the man rounded the
next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the


This preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one
at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning.
"This mower work, son?" the preacher asked.
Little Johnny said, "Sure does -- just pull on the cord hard, though."
The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked 
and pulled and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start.
Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny's
house. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough."
"Well," Johnny said, "you need to curse at it sometimes."
The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!"
"Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you."


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