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Today's jokes [2.18.10]

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The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she 
has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the 
sanctity of the confessional.
She says, "Father, I never wears panties under my habit."
The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, 
five Our Fathers and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar.


Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her 
constipation. "It's terrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a 
"I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor. 
"Naturally," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the 
morning and again at night." 
"No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?"
"Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."  


Q. Where is an elephants sex organ ?
A. In his feet. If he steps on you, you're fucked !


There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer.
Up walks a so called "lady of the night". She
says, "For $300.00, I'll do anything you want."
Our fine lad thinks for a moment then says:

Ok. Paint my house, bitch! 


How does every ethnic joke start?

By looking over your shoulder.


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