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Today's stories [12.21.10]

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Ladies Night Out.

So ... the other day, three friends and I went to this 
"Ladies Night Club." One of the girls wanted to impress us, 
so she pulls out a $10 bill.  The "dancer" came over to us, 
and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek.
         
Not to be outdone, my second friend pulls out a $20 bill.  
She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it 
on his other butt cheek.
         
Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my third friend 
pulls out a $50 bill.  She calls the guy back over again, 
licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt 
cheeks.
        
Now the attention is focused on me.  What could I do to top 
that?  I got out my wallet, thought for a minute ... and 
then the financial analyst in me took over.
        
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, 
grabbed the $80 bucks and went home.



Sent by Neicey

1. 




Back in the old days my Uncle Bucky bought a new
Model A Ford.The next morning he was on his way
to work and crashed into a car pulling out from
a sidestreet. Being the witty person that he is,
he wrote a letter to the Ford Motor Company..
"I blew my horn, it did no good; and now i have a
busted hood". Two days later a delivery truck
arrived at his residence with a brand new hood.

Sent by Cliff

2. 




There once was a conservative college in the mid-west that had 
a standing rule, the heat was not to be turned on in the 
dormitories prior to a certain date. 

Unfortunately, one year, winter decided to rear its ugly head 
early. Students in both the men's and women's dormitories 
complained about the bitter cold, but were told that nothing 
could be done. 

After days of no heat and no respite in immediate sight, the 
ladies realized that their dorm faced the equally cold men's 
dorm. They turned a bed sheet into a banner with the 
message,

"TURN ON THE HEAT OR WE'LL TURN ON THE BOYS!"

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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