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Today's poems [12.25.10]

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               While spending the winter at Pau 
               Lady Pamela forgot to say "No." 
                    So the head-porter made her 
                    The second-cook laid her; 
               The waiters were all hanging low. 

1. 




There was a young man in Norway, 
               Tried to jerk himself off in a sleigh, 
                    But the air was so frigid 
                    It froze his balls rigid, 
               And all he could come was frappe. 

2. 




A phenomenal fellow named Preston 
               Has a hair-padded lower intestine. 
                    Though exceedingly fine 
                    In the buggery line, 
               It isn't much good for digestin'. 

3. 




Nymphomaniacal Alice 
               Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. 
                    They found her vagina 
                    In North Carolina, 
               And her asshole in Buckingham Palace. 

4. 




Said a Palestine pilgrim named Wadham, 
               "For religion I don't give a Goddem! 
                    I've frequently peed in 
                    The Garden of Eden, 
               And buggered my guide when in Sodom." 

5. 



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