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Today's jokes [12.30.10]

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A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to 
file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a 
few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. 
and then asks, "What is your occupation?"
The woman replies, "I'm a whore."
The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is 
much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman, "Ok, I'm a prostitute."
"No, that is still too crude. Try again."
They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken 
farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a 
whore or a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."

1. 




When is it OK for a lady to slap a midget? 

When they are slow dancing and he tells her how nice her hair smells. 

2. 




Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?

A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

3. 




Hungry Snake 


Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon 
realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he
happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a 
worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him 
of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no 
lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer
down his throat and went about his fishing. 


An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pantleg. 
Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms 
in his mouth... 



4. 




There were two people having sex in a car. They finished up
and the guy thew the comdom out the window. His girlfriend got
mad at him she wanted to go again. So he got out of the car
and went to find the condom. 
He found that a little boy had found it and when he asked for
it back the boy refused. "C'mon" he begged, "I'll give u a dollar." 
"Well," little boy thought, "Okay."

So the little boy ran home. "Mom, you'll never guess what just
what just happened! I sold this guy a twinky for a dollar, but I
tricked him. I sucked the cream out of it first!" 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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