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Today's jokes [12.29.10]

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Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flower
decoration of the altar.
The catholic florist - $ 300. "Too expensive" moans the priest.
The protestant florist - $ 250, "No, it would not be right to buy at
another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather 
small." But lo! Solly Goldberg - $ 75!!!
Religion or economics? After much consideration, Solly obtains the
contract.
On Easter Sunday morning, Goldberg's men deliver the flowers: wonderful
roses, azaleas, camellias, tulips and carnations. O'Maley's last 
reservations are discarded.
When the parishioners arrive in the church, they see the magnificent
flower arrangement and a ribbon with the inscription:
"Jesus has risen! But the prices of Goldberg always stay the same."

1. 




Doctor: We operated on your eyes and we've managed to save one of them.

Patient: Oh, thank you very much.

Doctor: Yes, we'll give it to you on your way out.


2. 




One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a 
woman gain five pounds.

3. 




A person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he 
have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that he 
wouldn't make it through the night. So the person calls for his lawyer and 
asks him to come and sit by his bed. Right before the person dies, the 
lawyer asks him why did he want him next to him. The dying person replied, 
"When Jesus died, he had a thief next to him and I want to go the same 
way." 

4. 




What does a girl with bulimia call two fingers?

Desert.



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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