Today's jokes [12.21.10]
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A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest...the grass was very thick
and long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut. He approached
the Father for payment and the priest paid him $1.00.
The boy said "Thank you, virgin Father!"
The priest replied, "What did you say?"
The boy repeated, "Thank you, virgin Father!"
The priest asked him, "Do you know what that means?"
The boy replied, "Yes.... tight ass!"
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
They drowned in Spring Training.
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. Suddenly
Clinton grabs Hillary by the
collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned
umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President!
I said, Throw the first PITCH!"
Do you know what a Yankee is?
Same as a quickie, except you're by yourself
Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the
middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and
grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface.
After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and
water. On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst
and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in
the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an
oil lamp (the kind the genies come in).
They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it. "POOF" out popped a tired old
genie who said "ok.. so you freed me from this stupid lamp, yadda,
yadda, yadda. But hey, I've been doing this 3 wishes stuff for a long
time now and quite frankly, I'm burned out. You guys get only ONE
wish and then I'm OUTTA here. Make it a good one". The first guy,
without hesitation or thought blurted out, "Give us all the beer we
can drink for the rest of our lives!!!" "Fine" said the genie, and he
instantly turned the entire ocean into beer.
"Great move Einstein!" said the second guy, slapping the first guy
in the head. "NOW we're gonna have to piss in the BOAT!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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