Today's jokes [12.20.10]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The
first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig,
because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not
even down there."
That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, "I've
never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to go
into the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so
I can have a look."
The next day, Mrs. Schmidlap asks the girl, the two of them go
into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her.
Then the girl says, "I've never seen one with hair on it. Can I
So Mrs. Schmidlap pulls off her clothes and shows her. That
night, Mrs. Schmidlap says to her husband, "I hope you're
satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl
asked to see mine."
Her husband says, "You think you were embarrassed...I had
the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me."
A Scottish cop was asked how he'd break up a crowd.
He answered, "I'd take up a collection!"
What is New Jersey's state bird?
The common House Fly.
How is sex like air?
It's no big thing unless you aren't getting any.
A car breaks down along the expressway one day, so the driver
eases it over onto the shoulder of the highway. He jumps out of
the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in trench coats.
The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start
exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. This results in one
of the worst pile-ups in history.
When questioned by police why he put two deviates along the
side of the road, the man replied, "I broke down and was just
using my emergency flashers!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31