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Today's jokes [12.18.10]

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Q: Why do some people take an instant aversion to banjo players?
A: It saves time in the long run. 



1. 




A boat load filled with Viagra sank in Baltimore Harbor.

They could not get the draw bridges down for a week.

2. 




Joan, a rather well-proportioned & near-sighted secretary, spent almost 
all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a 
bathing suit the first few days, but always removed her glasses for an 
even facial tan. After several days she decided that no one could see her 
way up there, so she slipped out of her suit for an overall tan. She'd 
hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying 
on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, 
miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of 
breath from running up the stairs. "The hotel doesn't mind your sunbathing 
on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit 
as you have for the past week." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked 
rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a 
towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on 
the dining room skylight!" 

3. 




The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a
hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who
pays with a $20 bill.

The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Where's my
change?" asks the Zen Master. 

The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."

4. 




Bumper sticker seen in Cambridge, Mass: "Re-elect President Gore in
   2000"


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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