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Today's jokes [12.16.10]

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And more on blondes...

Q: But why do brunettes take the pill? 
A: Wishful Thinking. 

1. 




Why did the pervert cross the road?

He had his dick stuck in the chicken.

2. 




Oscar was an unlucky sap. Having just spent megabucks on a skydiving 
class, he dove out of the airplane and pulled the ripcord. The chute 
emerged, tangled, and he cut it free. He then pulled the cord on the 
reserve chute, and it also was tangled. He prayed to his God and looked 
down to the ground below. To his amazement, a woman was coming up with 
equal velocity. "Hey, you know anything about parachutes?" he shouted
to her, as they passed by. The reply: "No... you know anything about 
Coleman stoves?"

3. 




How big is Bill Clinton's Penis? 

     Not as big as Hillary's 

4. 




A father asked his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds
and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting
into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

"Oh dad," the boy sobbed, "when I was 6 I got the there's no Santa speech. 
At 7, I got the there's no Easter Bunny speech. When I was 8, you hit me 
with the there's no Tooth Fairy' speech. If you tell me that grown-ups 
don't really fuck, I'll have nothing left to live for."

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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