Today's poems [11.27.10]
Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.
There once was a young boy named Steven
Who noticed his balls were uneven.
When he pulled on the right,
The left shot out of sight:
Not the effect Steve was keen on achievin'.
The ancient orthographer, Chisholm.
Caused a lexicographical schism
When he asked to know whether
"Twere known which was better
To use "g" or "j" to spell "jism."
DR. SUESS ON PCS
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and you screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
then you have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom.
Copyright © Gene Ziegler
I'm sure you can't imagine
it's as simple as can be
the place is very private
the players are he and she
She whispers softly it will hurt
of course not he replied
It's just a simple proscess
lay back and close your eyes
She say's I'm rather frightned
I've never done this before
He wanted to continue
it won't hurt much more
It's getting rather painfull
as tears come to her eyes
it's hurting something awful
it must be quite a size
Calm yourself my darling
the pleasure refolds your sin
Now open slightly
so I can fit more in
Suddenly with a jerk
she gave a shout
Now that it's all over with
He slowly pulled it out
*Now if you read this carefully
you will find
it's not what you think
it's just your dirty mind
It is just a visit to the dentist!!!
Sent by Tamara
(To The Tune Of Macarena)
Sitting in my house and I know that I'm alona,
Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bona,
Go and grab a Penthouse it's the one with Sharon Stona,
I go a little faster and it's feeling kind of nicea,
Once is not enough so I have to do it twicea,
If you wanna spank the monkey I can give you good advicea,
I use some baby oil or a little vaselina,
Laying down a towel so I keep my carpet cleana,
Never shake my hand cos you don't know where its beena,
I do it in the car when I'm driving down the streeta,
One hand on the wheel and the other on my meata,
I can't get out the car cos I'm sticking to the seata,
Since I was a kid I have been a mastubater,
Choke the chicken, hum the knob, squeezing the tomata,
I've looked at Miss November, now I'm gonna decorata,
Sent by Paul
By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30