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Today's poems [11.11.10]

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An indolent vicar of Bray 
            Kept his wife in the family way, 
                Till she grew more alert, 
                Bought a vaginal squirt, 
            And said to her spuose, "Let us spray!" 

1. 




There was a young lady named Maude 
            A terrible society fraud: 
                In company, I'm told 
                She was awfully cold. 
            But if you got her alone, Oh My God! 

2. 




There was a young athlete named Grimmon 
Who developed a new way of swimmin': 
By a marvellous trick 
He would skull with his prick, 
Which attracted loud cheers from the women. 

3. 




            Remember those two of Aberystwyth 
            Who connected the things that they pissed with? 
                She sat on his lap 
                But they both had the clap, 
            And they cursed with the things that they kissed with. 

4. 




I knew a girl from St. Paul 
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball. 
Someone set it on fire 
And burned here entire 
Front Page, Sporting Section and all. 

5. 



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