Today's jokes [11.9.10]
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A young Indian boy came back to the reservation for a
family visit after his first year at college. When his dad asked him
about his first year at school, he said: I'm having trouble with
people making fun of me, especially my Indian name. How did you come
to give your children such odd names"? His father said: "When your
brother was born, I looked out the teepee and I saw an eagle flying so
I named him Little Eagle and when your sister was born, I looked out
the teepee and saw a deer grazing, so I named her spotted fawn. Why do
you ask, Two Dogs F*cking"?
Looking Impatient and Annoyed. According to George
Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient
and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that
you are always busy.
An Australian joke...
St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day when a pair of Abo's
"Your names aren't on today's list... let me go and ask the Boss" he says.
In God's office he tells the Big Man all about the two Abo's, and God
tells Peter to go and tell them to fuck right off.
St Peter takes his leave.
5 minutes later St Peter runs back into the room and says "they're gone"
God says "the Abo's? Good".
and St Peter replies... "NO THE PEARLY GATES!!!".
What do you call four sheep tied to a post in Cardiff (Wales)?
A leisure centre.
Letter from Daughter to Parents
Dear Mother and Dad:
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss
in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having
written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on,
please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY!
Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the
concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it
caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only get
those sick headaches once a day.
Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant
at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the fire
department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since
I had nowhere to live, because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough
to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room,
but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in
love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but
it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.
Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward
to being grrandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the
love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason
for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection
which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests and I carelessly
caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections
I am taking daily.
I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and
although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different
race and religion than ours, I know your oft expressed tolerance will not
permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker
than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is
good too, for I am told that his father is an important gun-bearer in the
village in Africa from which he came.
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was
no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was
not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I do not have
syphillis and there is no man (of any color) in my life. However, I am getting
a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science and I wanted you to see those marks
in the proper perspective.
Your Loving Daughter
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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