Today's jokes [11.5.10]
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What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch. When they reach their
deer blinds, the guy says, "If you shoot a deer, be sure not to let
somebody else say he's the one who shot it. Otherwise, he'll take the deer
from you. The deer belongs to whoever shoots it." The guy goes to his own
blind. Ten minutes later, he hears his wife shooting from her blind
nearby. He rushes over and finds her pointing her rifle at a cowboy who's
hollering, "Awright, lady, awright--you can have the goddamn deer! Just
lemme get my saddle off it!"
Condition that enables a woman who has gone through
labor to have sex again.
I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot.
It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there:
They have no wife to go home to...
or they do.
Two brothers, ages 6 and 8, decide they are old enough to start cursing. So
they plan to use dirty words the next morning at breakfast. The 8-year-old
says he'll use the world HELL and tells the 6-year-old to use ASS.
Well, the next morning they head downstairs for breakfast. And when their
mother asks them what they want, the 8-year-old says, "Ah, Hell, I'll have
some Fruit Loops."
Shocked, the mother wheels around and backhands him on his
chair, sending him screaming back upstairs. She then turns to the 6-year-old
and says, "What are you going to have?" He replies, "I don't know, but
you can bet your ass it ain't gonna be Fruit Loops."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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