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Today's jokes [11.29.10]

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Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
            A: Her crayons are still sticky.

1. 




What's the one thing you can do to a Jewish girl's asshole
to make her squeal with delight?

                      Give him a raise. 


2. 




   The American in Hong Kong was talking to his wife one evening over
   supper. "Get this..." he chuckled, "That ridiculous janitor of ours
   claims he's made love to every woman in the building except one."
   
   "Hmmmmmmmmm," said his wife, assuming a thoughtful faraway type
   expression, "must be that stuck-up Mrs. Stewart on the eighth floor."


3. 




   A young man, in the course of his college life, came to terms with his
   homosexuality and
   decided to "come out of the closet." His plan was to tell his mother
   first; so on his next
   home visit, he went to the kitchen, where his mother was busying
   herself stirring stew with
   a wooden spoon. Rather nervously, he explained to her that he had
   realized he was gay.
   Without looking up from her stew, his mother said, "You mean,
   homosexual?"
   "Well...yes." Still without looking up:
   "Does that mean you suck men`s penises?"
   Caught off guard, the young man eventually managed to stammer an
   embarrassed
   affirmative; whereupon his mother turned to him and, brandishing the
   wooden spoon
   threateningly under his nose, snapped: "Don`t you EVER complain about
   my cooking
   again!"
   


4. 




Father Goose Story No. 7



Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called
Trids.  The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived
on the mountain.  The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.

The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him.  They thought
one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary.  So a group
of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could
even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain. Not being
dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent
another delagation, this time led by the local priest.  But alas, as they
approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.

The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish.
Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another
land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre.  The
Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain.  The ogre
saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the
mountain.  The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered
why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre.
The ogre laughed and replied:

      "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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