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Today's jokes [11.24.10]

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A very well-built young lady was lying on her psychiatrist's 
couch, telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an 
actress and failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary 
and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a 
sales clerk and I failed at that, too."

The shrink thought for a moment and said... "Everyone needs 
to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?"

The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful 
breasts, points it at the shrink, and says... "Well go ahead, I'll 
give it a try!"

1. 




Q: What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?

A: He breaks his nose.

2. 




What do you give the paedophile who has everything?
Another parish

3. 




Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
Little Johnny: I get up early.

4. 




The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined
to track down the father to extract revenge.

"Was it my friend Sam", he demanded.

"No !" his weeping wife replied.

"Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked.

"NO !!!" she said even more upset.

"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.

"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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