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Today's jokes [11.22.10]

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An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name
legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked
"Can i help you sir?"
Our man said "Yes, I would like to change my name."
"What is your current name?" asked the clerk.
"Martin Arsehole," replied the man.
The clerk laughed, and said "I can see why you want a
change. What would you like your new name to be?"
"Tim." 

1. 




Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years?
A: Somebody dropped a shekel.

2. 




The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the 
best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. 
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. 
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They 
question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive 
investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, 
killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no 
apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit! 

3. 




A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were 
getting ready to go out on dates. The first 
beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm 
here to pick up Betty. We're going for 
spaghetti, is she ready?" 
No. The second beau came to the door and said, 
"I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to 
the show. Is she ready to go?" 
No. The third beau came to the door and said to 
the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck."
The farmer shot Chuck. 

4. 




What did one Lesbian Frog say to the other? 

Gee, we really do taste like chicken. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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