Today's jokes [11.18.10]
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The teacher walked into the classroom to find words like "cunt" and "cock"
scrawled all over the blackboard. "Children," she said, addressing the
classroom, "you are much too young to use vile language like that. Now
we're all going to close our eyes and count up to fifty. Then, while our
eyes are closed, I want the little boy or girl who wrote those words on
the board to tiptoe up and erase them." At the signal, the teacher and the
children all closed their eyes. Then the teacher counted out loud, very
slowly. When she reached fifty, she said, "All right. Everybody open their
eyes." All eyes went to the blackboard. None of the words were erased. But
below them was the message: "Fuck you, teacher! The Phantom strikes
What's brown and has holes in it?
- Swiss Shit.
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died.
"You know, it's not your fault that the dog died. He's probably up in
heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie, still crying, said "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping?
Scared the hell out of the dog.
Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this
party they were at
the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got
home and blew chunks.
2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was
pulled over and given
a DUI! 3rd guy: That's nothing. I was so drunk that on the way home I
picked up a
prostitute and my wife caught us in bed! 1st guy: No, no.. you guys
Chunks is my dog.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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