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Today's stories [10.31.10]

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   A few years ago my wife started to wear tight jeans.
   I went out and bought a convertible.
   
   Then she bleached her hair.
   I took a lot of multiple vitamin shots.
   
   Just a few months ago, she had a face lift and a "tummy tuck."
   I got an implant.
   
   And that's the way its been for the two of us:
   side by side -- growing young together.


1. 




I prefer to shop at a convenience store than a supermarket. The
super market is a huge commitment.  Where a convenience store
is like a one night stand.  Play it safe though, if you take
the condom wrapper off those sandwiches at the convenience
store you will pay a price.

Sent by Jeff

2. 




A true story....

There was an elderly lady who lived out of town.
Once every year she would go visit her daughter
in Salem. Now, her doctor was in Salem, and every
year when she visited her daughter she would have
her annual appontment with her doctor. It was around
October when she came to visit. She schedualed her
apointment, and the morning of, she took a shower
and got ready to go. She yelled out the bathroom door
"Honey, can I use some of your FDS spray before we go?"
"sure mom" the daughter answers. The daughter took her
mom to the doctor and waited in the car until the
appoitment was over. About an hour later her mom walks
out with a horrified look on her face. She sits in the
car and doesn't say a word. The daughter at this point
was very upset and confused about her mothers silence
and asks what was wrong. The mother, in a shy voice says
" well, when I was on the table, the doctor was ready to
begin, and he looked up at me and said I looked very
'spiffy' today. I don't understand what he ment."The
daughter was very upset hearing this, knowing that it is
very unprofessional. She told her mother she would call
the doctor in the morning to find out why he said that.
When they got home the daughter was cleaning the bathroom
and noticed something odd. Her FDS spray was tuked back
into the cupboard, and their was a can of Halloween hair
glitter on the counter. She called out  " mom, did you find
the FDS spray this morning?" "yes honey, it was sitting on
the counter next to the sink. I put it back when I used it."
Then she laughed uncontrollably knowing her mother didn't
have her glasses on when she got out of the shower, and used
the wrong can! Needless to say, She made herself very 'spiffy'
for the doctor and didn't realize it.

Sent by Shelly

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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