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Today's quotes [10.13.10]

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You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five
   miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where
   the hell she is.
         Ellen DeGeneris


1. 




* There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and
       found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his
       sleep and found himself divorced.


2. 




I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president." 

     - Hillary Clinton, commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents 

3. 




"I'm sorry, but I am not turned on at the sight of a dragon during sexual
 intimacy..."
                        -- Dante, on oz#gothic


4. 




A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass.
   Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for sixteen hardened
   criminals.
         Ronnie Corbett


5. 



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