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Today's poems [10.29.10]

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There was a young woman in Dee 
            Who stayed with each man she did see. 
                When it came to a test 
                She wished to be best, 
            And practice makes perfect, you see. 

1. 




               A Chinese chef named Chang 
               Made dishes of unusual tang. 
                    He stirred his wok 
                    With the head of his cock 
               'Til oyster sauce poured from his wang. 

2. 




A sempstress at Epping-on-Tyne 
            Used to peddle her tail down the line. 
                She first got a crown, 
                But her prices went down--- 
            Now she'll fit you for ten pence or nine. 

3. 




               There once was a man from Rangoon 
               Who was born 9 months too soon. 
                    He didn't have the luck 
                    To be born by a fuck; 
               He was scraped off the sheets with a spoon. 

4. 




A proper young person named Gissing 
            Announced he had given up kissing. 
                "I strike out at once 
                For something that counts, 
            And besides my girl's front teeth are missing." 

5. 



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