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Today's poems [10.28.10]

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The wife of young Richard of Limerick 
               Complained to her hesband, "My quim, Rick, 
                    Still grows in diameter 
                    Each time that you ram at her; 
               How can your poor tool stay so slim, Rick?" 

1. 




Why, oh why, does this happen to me?
How did I end up stuck in this tree?
The ground down below looks so far away,
That if I would fall it would take me all day
To hit the ground, with a thud and a thunk.
And knowing my luck I'd land on a skunk.
So here I will sit 'til my dying day.
Or maybe, at least, 'til that bear goes away. 

2. 




There was a young lassie named Phyllis 
               Was deflowered one night in a Willys. 
                    Before they were through 
                    Her spine was askew, 
               And I very much fear that it still is. 

3. 




All those Monica limericks are lame, 
               But I guess we have Clinton to blame. 
                    Had he fucked just his wife, 
                    For once in his life, 
               Or at least missed the dress when he came. 

4. 




There was a young squaw of Wohunt 
            Who possessed a collapsible cunt. 
                It had many odd uses, 
                Produced no papooses, 
            And fitted both giant and runt. 

5. 



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