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Today's poems [10.11.10]

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There once was a vicar called Merick
whose fancied the choir boy Derek,
the vicars advances,
gave Derek  a shock,
for he was offered communion
from the Reverends cock

The bats in the belfy
squawked out in fright
as the reverend Merick
buggered with might

Merick was caught
and tried at the Crown
the judge gave his sentence
but he pulled his pants down

The judge was so angry
he cursed in one breath
"I send you to prison -
to be buggered to death!"


Sent by Dan 2001

1. 




Clare, Clare I'm so aware,
how you flutter your eyes at me. 
But what about my wife Sue? 
I really dont know what to do.
Should I run or try and screw?

Do you mean it?
You're such a tease.
You have a boyfriend
but I don't like threes.

The other men at my work,
like you too, you're such a perk,
jerking off their trouser snakes,
at your photo, during breaks.


Sent by Dan

2. 




Mary had a little watch,
She swallowed it one day.

She took a dose of Castor oil,
to pass the time away.

The oil, it did not work.
The time it did not pass.

So if you want to know what time it is,
You'll have to look up Mary's ass.

Sent by jerry

3. 




I fear that I shall never see
A bathroom wall completely free

Of such obscenities as this
And other words like "shit" and "piss."

But if I such a wall espy,
Then you will know that it was I

Who was in the vicinity:
I'll ravish its virginity.


Sent by --Kilmerius Redivivus

4. 




Hurt (by love)

Tell me why It hurts,
Please tell me why it hurts so much,
Is it because of hate, is it because of love,or is it both,
I don't Know but can you help me find out,
I love you,
I hate you,
I love you because we have so much in common,
I hate you because you think I don't try,
But I do so deal with it,
I can't tell why it hurts, but I know I love you,
I hate you just as much as I love you,
But why does it hurt,
To know that you think of me as a friend 
when it could be so much more,
I think I found why it hurts,
Will you help me ease the hurt.


Sent by Schaal

5. 



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