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Today's jokes [10.4.10]

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How can you tell if a FAX was sent by a blonde? 

It has a stamp on it. 

1. 




Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent
   his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason
   for his haste he shivered and replied: "I'm afraid that if I should
   ever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try to
   repossess me."


2. 




There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the 
husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year 
old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son's room 
and says "Son do you remember that session I arranged for you with 
mademoiselle Ginette ?" "Oh yes papa, I remember very well" says the son. 
"Well son it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same 
thing"

3. 




How do you know when your girlfriend is on anabolic steroids?

When she flips you over, holds you down and fucks you
.up the arse with her clitoris.


4. 




The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air
Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of
perfectly good aircraft.  "Obviously the Air Force knows there's
no such thing as a 'perfectly good aircraft,'" the irritated
officer finally countered one afternoon, "because they pay
you bastards four times as much to stay in one as the Army
pays its men to jump."

"You've got it all wrong, Major," an Air Force sergeant
replied.  "The Army figures anyone stupid enough to jump
out of an airplane voluntarily is gonna be too dumb to bitch
about the salary."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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