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Today's jokes [10.31.10]

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What does a lion call a antelope?

Fast food.


Sent by jessica

1. 




   Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on
   him. He asked if they
   wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at
   after they went home
   and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he
   went to see him. He
   asked his friend if he had anything that would keep him hard all night
   long. The man
   laughed and handed him a bottle of pills instructing him not to take
   more than one. Once at
   home, Charlie figured with three women he should take three pills, so
   he gulped them
   down. The next day Charlie showed up at the drugstore to see his
   friend. Asking for some
   liniment, he showed him his dick which was ripped to shreds. In
   disbelief, his friend asked
   if he was sure that he wanted to put liniment on his dick. Charlie
   replied "No,I need it for
   my arms the women never showed up!"
   


2. 




Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished a jigsaw puzzle
   in only a couple of months?
A: Because on the box it said "from 2-4 years."


3. 




A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend 
and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in 
the Netherlands flag. 

"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said.  "We get red when 
we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue 
after we pay them." 

"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see 
stars, too." 

4. 




There are thousands of sex phone lines for men but only a few for women.
This is because if a women wants someone to talk dirty to her she can just
go to work. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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