Today's jokes [10.3.10]
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A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing
where a young couple was engaged in oral sex.
"Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very
dangerous beast out there!"
But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less
seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was
the couple was doing.
"Well, err.... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a
brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's
"WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which
merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"
What food best describes a man?
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an
announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this
is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293,
nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is
good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful
flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!"
Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies
and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I
was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and
spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my
A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the
back of mine!"
A girl called the police department and reported that she had been
assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, "When did this
happen?" She replied, "Last week." The police then asked, "Why did you
wait until now to report it?" Well," she said. "I didn't know that I was
assaulted until the check bounced."
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, "Hey,
Pop! What are you doin'?"
His father says, "Son, I'm filling your mother's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that
gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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