Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [10.3.10]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing 
where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. 

"Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very 
dangerous beast out there!"

But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less 
seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was 
the couple was doing.

"Well, err.... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a 
brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's 
artificial respiration!"

"WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which 
merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"

1. 




What food best describes a man? 

     Jerky 

2. 




A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport.  After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an 
announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this 
is your captain speaking.  Welcome to Flight Number 293, 
nonstop from New York to Los Angeles.  The weather ahead is 
good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful 
flight.  Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!"

Silence.

Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies 
and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I 
was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and 
spilled the hot coffee in my lap.  You should see the front of my 
pants!"

A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing.  He should see the 
back of mine!"

3. 




A girl called the police department and reported that she had been 
assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, "When did this 
happen?" She replied, "Last week." The police then asked, "Why did you 
wait until now to report it?" Well," she said. "I didn't know that I was 
assaulted until the check bounced." 

4. 




Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, "Hey, 
Pop! What are you doin'?"
His father says, "Son, I'm filling your mother's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that 
gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning." 

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 October '10 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
               1  2  
3  4  5  6  7  8  9  
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 
24 25 26 27 28 29 30 
31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.