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Today's jokes [10.29.10]

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The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a
policeman ran up to help. "My mother-in-law just tried to run
me over!" the shaken man told the cop.
"The car hit you from behind," the officer said. "How could
you tell it was your mother-in-law?"
"I recognized the laugh!" he replied.

1. 




If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no
one there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.

2. 




A man walked into the bar and there was a gorilla
sitting on a barstool.

The man asked the bartender what the gorilla was
doing in the bar so the bartender showed him. He
took out a bat and hit the gorilla over the head
with it. The animal instantly dropped down and
gave the bartender blow job.

The Bartender then asked the man if he would like
to try it.

The man said "Sure, but please don't hit me quite
so hard". 

3. 




How do you sink a Polish submarine?

     You knock on the door. 

4. 




What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner? 

    Reservations. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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