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Today's jokes [10.27.10]

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As the end of the day drew near, the handsome executive 
called his newly hired assistant into his office. "Do you know 
what time we quit around here ?" he asked.

"Sure !" the girl nervously giggled. "Whenever somebody 
knocks on the door."



1. 




Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with
   Monica Lewinsky?
   Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of
   the the sweetest interns I've ever had.


2. 




A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. 
One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was 
drinking an extremely large glass of milk. The young man said "I took
the liberty of milking your cow this morning!" He then continues and says 
"it took me a while to get her started up. She must be old and stubbly." 
The uncle says with a confused look " Um son we don't have a cow...We have 
a bull!"

3. 




What's the definition of a Jewish nyphomaniac?

     One that screws when she's just had her hair done. 

4. 




A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the
delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top
of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says
to the doctor, "Are you my dad?". 

The doctor says, "No, I am your doctor!". With that, the baby pops
right back inside. 

"Damn!", says the doctor. A short while later he sees the head push
through again. 

"Are you my dad?", asks the baby. 

"No, I am your doctor.", he replies. 

Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother's womb. 

The doctor turns to a nurse and says, "Nurse, get that baby's father
in here right away--we may have a situation on our hands!". Moments
later the baby's father is in the delivery room, and the baby's head
once again pops out. "Are you my dad?", the baby asks of the father. 

The father replies, "Yes, little baby, I am your father!" 

The baby then reaches up and begins poking his father in the forehead
with his index finger--"How do you like that?" 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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