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Today's jokes [10.24.10]

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Life Insurance Agent:
Don't let me frighten you into a decision. Sleep on it tonight, and if you 
wake up in the morning, let me know what you think. 


1. 




What's the difference between a ritz
                             cracker and a lesbian?
One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!

2. 




Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is
both male and female."
This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
This further confuses him so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless,
"Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this Little Johnny’s face lights up with understanding and he 
triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"

3. 




A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, 
he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until 
reaches heavily into the ground with a hard knock over his shell.
After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, 
jumps again, and knocks the ground heavily again.
The little turtle insisted again and again after each knock, while a 
couple of birds sitting at the edge of a branch, looking the turtle with 
pain..suddenly the female bird says to the male: "Hey dear, I think it's 
time to tell our little turtle he is adopted." 

4. 




How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? 

     - No one knows. Its never happened. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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