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Today's jokes [10.18.10]

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Q: Why do men name their penis?
A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of their
decisions.

1. 




A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right
thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits,
and a lot of questioning and listening, the counselor said
that he had discovered the main problem. 
He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand,
and gave her a hug. He looked at the man and said, "this
is what your wife needs, at least once a day!" 
The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, "Ok, what
time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?"

2. 




   Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by.
   The turd looks over and says, "Hey! Come on in! The water's fine!"
   One banana turns to the other banana and says, "Do you believe that
   shit?"
   


3. 




   What a rip-off. I went into our local bookstore and saw this huge
   display with a sign saying "Newly translated from the original French:
   37 mating positions." Noticing that the books were already wrapped in
   plain brown paper, I just hadda buy one.
   
   Once safely at home I opened it, out of sight of my wife, and found
   that I had just purchased an expensive book about Chess.


4. 




What do you call foreplay in Alabama?


                                         'Hey sis, you awake?'

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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