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Today's jokes [10.16.10]

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There were two guys walking down the street
and they saw a dog licking his nuts.
One of the guys said. "Man I wish I could do that".
Then the other guy said, "Man that dog will bite you!"! 

1. 




Why can't the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp?
                      Everyone would be afraid to lick it. 

2. 




   A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to
   his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
   
   Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to
   say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?


3. 




Two bums were sitting on a street curb, bored as ever.
Then, one of them got an idea, saying "I know, let's play swords!"

"Play swords?" asked the other.  "How?"  "Simple.  Whip it out, smack
it till it's hard, and we both whack'em together like swords."

So they did, and they were running up and down the street, smacking
their dicks together playing swords.

Then, a gay man walked up to them and inquired about their actions.
"We're playing swords!" yelled one of the bums.

The gay man wanted to play too. An hour later, the gay man was becoming
exhausted.  "I'm tired," he said.  He bent over saying, "kill me!, kill
me!!"





4. 




What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell 
out of a tree would kill you?

A pool table.



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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