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Today's jokes [10.15.10]

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If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service
announcement: 
In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear
country. 
The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc.), but be careful because they don't scare 
Grizzly Bears. 
Tourists are cautioned to watch the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear 
droppings to be alert for the presence of Grizzly Bears. 
One can easily spot a Grizzly dropping because it has tiny bells in it. 

1. 




Q: Mommy, Mommy! What's an orgasm?
A: I don't know dear, ask your father.


2. 




WHY IS AN IMPOTENT MAN LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE?

-THEY BOTH HAVE BALLS FOR DECORATION

3. 




A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly
he notices a fine looking hooker looking at him.
He stops, bangs on the window and says,"So, what does this cost ??!!".
And the hooker replies,"25 dollars !!".
And the Pollock said ,"Hmm, that's not a lot of money for insulated
windows !!".



4. 




    A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet
   rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over
   immediately.
   When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face
   close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard
   which is full and bushy.
   Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both
   hands.
   "Actually, no" he replies. "Can you get him for me - I need to speak
   to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his
   hair.
   "I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there
   anything I can do?"
   "Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues
   huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him
   to suck them gently.
   "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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