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Today's jokes [10.13.10]

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What goes: Clip Clop Clip Clop BANG Clipidy Clop Clipidy Clop?

An Amish drive-by shooting. 

1. 




Chain Letter Type IV

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.  Send it to every one of your
friends.

Friends
- A friend is someone who is always at your side,
- A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a wet dog,
- A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
- A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
- A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about
   your loser life,
- A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think
   you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs, - A
friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets
  the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English no, sorry that's   
 the cleaning lady,

Now pass this on! If you don't, Satan will send dogs in heat to your room in
your sleep!!

There.   Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main types of chain
letters, onto the ironic part.  In order for this to get any popularity,
send it on!!!  If you don't think it was funny at all, don't bother, but
otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!!  If you don't, I don't
care.  Thanks!

Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it.

TRASH IT!!!  If it's a joke or something, send it, sure! Just don't forget
to delete the chain letter part.  But if it's gonna make people feel guilty 
(i.e. the willieless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e.
Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of poop), just DELETE it.

Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say NO!!! to 
BLOODY CHAIN LETTERS!!"  Thank you.

2. 




Good News, Bad News, Worse News III

  Good: 
        Your husband understands fashion
   Bad: 
        He's a crossdresser
 Worse: 
        He looks better than you

3. 




Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 
cucumbers. The guy advises: "Sisters, if you buy 3 crates, that's 150, 
you'll get a 25% discount !" The nuns look at each other, and after a 
prolonged period of thinking one whispers to the other:
"We could eat the 30, I suppose."

4. 




Why do doctors slap babies when they are born? 

     To knock the penises off the smart ones. 

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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