Today's stories [1.9.10]

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Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up
the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."

Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Tech Support:    "All right...now double-click
on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows-because
of the icons.-I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe
in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir.
I don't believe it was meant to-"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'.
I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little
picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: [click]

Los Angeles entrepreneur, Poor Innocent Guy David Morgan,
52, opened a new business called Anger Behind Closed Doors.
Clients pay $10 a session to enter a padded room where they
can vent their pent-up hostility by attacking a green dummy.

"How many times do you want to choke someone because they
really deserved it?  And, of course, you can't do it?"
Morgan told the Los Angeles Times. "But here you can do,
say, feel what you want."

After acting on their anger, clients unwind in the 15,000-
square-foot facility's "thought and relaxation area," which
comprises four private booths where they can listen to
soothing music.

Already the SLOTHS are organizing an effort to close Anger
Behind closed Doors.  One SLOTHS spokeswomen said, "When I
yell at my husband or double-bind him, I want him to suffer.
He has no right to go off to this place and vent his
frustrations so he can feel good."

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