Today's stories [1.31.10]

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One of my friends was dating a blonde girl that wasn't too bright to say
the least.  Often she would come up with the most stupid comments that
at first got us all laughing, but after a while also became a bit
annoying to some. One day we were sitting in a pool hall talking.  The
blonde participated in the discussion, and when she came up with an even
for unusually stupid comment one of my friends couldn't take it anymore.
So he said to her "You must have vacuum in your head". This upset her.
She looked at him for a couple of seconds and replied, "At least it's
better than nothing".

Heard from a tourbus driver in Washington DC earlier today: 
 
        Had you heard that Socks the Cat died last night?
 
        Yeah, he climbed into bed between Bill and Hillary 
        and froze to death.

Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone.  In 
a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello.  The party on the other end of the 
line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy 
speech.
"Mom, this is Susan and I'm sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because 
I'm going to be a little late getting home.  See, Dad's car has a flat but 
it's not my fault. Honest!  I don't know what happened. The tire just went 
flat while we were inside the theater.  Please don't be mad, okay?"
Since I don't have any daughters, I knew the person had misdialed.
"I'm sorry dear," I replied, "but you've reached the wrong number. I don't 
have a daughter named Susan."
"Gosh, Mom, "came the young woman's voice, "I didn't think you'd be this 
mad."

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