Today's poems [1.31.10]

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There once was a lady from Worcester,
Who thought a man had seduced her.
She woke up and screamed,
It was only a dream,
It was the bump on the matress that goosed her.

Sent by Joey D.

There was an old spinster of Tyre 
            Who bellowed, "My cunt is on fire!" 
                So a fireman was found, 
                Brought his engine around, 
            And extinguished her burning desire. 

               A girl attending Bryn Mawr 
               Committed a dreadful faux pas. 
                    She loosened a stay 
                    In her decollete, 
               Exposing her je-ne-sais-quoi 

There was an old Abbot of Khief 
               Who thought the Inpenitent Thief 
                    Had bollocks of brass 
                    And an amethyst ass. 
               He died in this awful belief. 

               A pathetic appellant at Reno 
               Was as chaste as the holy Bambino, 
                    For she'd married a slicker 
                    Who stuck to his liquor 
               And scorned her ripe maraschino

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