Today's stories [9.7.09]

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Sign in a gas station:

Coke - 49 cents.
Two for a dollar.

Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided
to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and
tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the
rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to
his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last
moment.

He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him and
cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging,
he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the
flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the
water by a kind fisherman and was taken to hospital, where he
died ... of exposure! 

"Demi Moore's new movie about the first woman in the elite Navy
Seals still has no name," says Alex Kaseberg. "They decided not
to go with the title chosen by a test marketing group --
'Straight to Video.'" 

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