Today's stories [9.19.09]

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The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what 
I looked for in a woman.

Naturally I replied, "Big tits."

He said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."

So I said, "Oh, seriously big tits."

"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you 
want to spend the rest of your life with?"

He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch 
laughing until my gut hurt. "Spend the rest of my life with one 
woman? No woman's tits are that big."

My friend Janet, who likes stealing food from me, one day became obsessed 
with my pack of Nerds (a candy).
I asked her, "Why do you keep on taking my Nerds?!"
She looked me in the eye and she said, "I like nerds."
And I was thinking, is that supposed to mean something!?

Sent by Christina

Thrash-happy judges in Saudi Arabia have sentenced a
Filipino man to 75 lashes for possession of alcohol
- after he was caught with two chocolate liqueurs at
an airport.

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