Today's quotes [9.3.09] Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people." "Then what does it do?" "Why would it need to do anything else?" -- Dogbert, Dilbert, Dogbert
"The winds of political correctness now dictate press-backing of Microsoft the new national pasttime. It will do until Bill Gates sleeps with Monica Lewinski (I can see it now... M: 'Uh... it was dark; I thought he was Bill Clinton...')." -- Terry Lambert, comp.unix.bsd.freebsd.misc
Palm Beach County: We put the "duh" in Florida.
"Into everyone's life, a little rain must fall, but this is ridiculous." - Noah
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30